18. My bedroom

She say it is her office, but ackshewally it is MY bedroom.  She have a desk wiv lots of bits of paper on it, and lots of bits of paper underneef it and on the floor too.  She has clearly not heard of the paperless society.  Mostly she just sit there and fiddle around wiv her computer and sumtimes she say FFS you stoopid bloody machine.  He have a desk in here too but he go out to work sumwhere else mostly. 

My bed, wot she got me before I came, is a very tasteful grey and red tartan (does she fink I’m Scottish?  I am not wun of those little Scottie dogs wot sells whisky, I is a Labbiedor).  Underneef it is my fleece wot Dere Unkle Roy and Arntie Soo give me, underneef that is the floor.  And underneef the floor, right underneef my bed and the fleece, is a central heating pipe wot makes my bed even more cozy.  In my bed is her fleece wot she give me when I couldn’t sleep at night when I first came.  She is a big softie. 

Yoozherly there is also some toys in here, and always a bowl of water coz when the hoomans go to bed at night I am shut in here, like I am in PRIZUN, so those stoopid cats can have the run of the house.  Snot fair.